The Miracle Grand Slam

A friend came all the way from Utah last week to help me with some boat maintenance here in south Florida. My Whaler needed to have some very heavy batteries changed out and some pumps repaired and replaced. It was heavy lifting and definitely a two-man job, so I was very thankful for his help. The batteries were not too bad. Just awkward and heavy! I was glad Bobby was lifting and positioning those behemoths!

First cooler day of season on the Gulf

I was at work locating some electrical gremlins in the freshwater pump. By the time I had narrowed the problem down to a bad pump or oxidized wiring, Bobby was already done with moving all four batteries! He was starting on installing a new macerator pump when he checked on my progress. The pump had power, but it was fluctuating. It varied from 9 to 12 volts. He took one look at the pump itself and said, “That pump looks brand new.” I agreed, and a closer inspection showed a manufacture date of 2022. I hadn’t used the boat but a couple of hours since then, so we decided to wire it directly to the 12-volt batteries. Off it went! Ran like new. Problem solved. Oxidized wires. By the time I had replaced the old wires, Bobby was already finished with replacing the macerator pump for the fish boxes.

So, the first day of our fishing trip…ah, um, I mean, boat maintenance trip, went well. The freshwater shower on the rear deck was next, then the solar charge controller on one bank of batteries needed to be replaced. So I began……. Okay. I think it’s safe. Sorry about all that boring maintenance stuff. I had to be sure our wives and his mother-in-law got bored and stopped reading. We had to invent the whole boat maintenance ruse for our wives to cover for yet another fishing trip. Fortunately, they totally fell for it. It was surprisingly easy! We actually did all those things. Not only to safely and comfortably fish, but for my daughter and her family as well. They were coming the next week, and they were looking forward to boating, beaching, and fishing with grandma and grandpa. To fish, that was our real intent and purpose.

I had some saltwater lures I was anxious to try out. The MULLET BULLET and TROUT TARGET (see above). And Bobby was anxious to add a few more saltwater species to his list. So, we got out on the water and started fishing! Being the selfless host that I am, I watched patiently while Bobby got a backwater Grand Slam. I know, I know! There are several Slams! Florida Fish and Wildlife has many slams, and the IGFA (International Game Fish Association) lists three official slams. The Grand Slam, the Super Grand Slam, and the Fantasy Grand Slam. He got Snook, Speckled Sea Trout and Redfish. Not to be outdone, I caught a Grand Shame! Common Catfish, Sail Catfish, and a clump of oyster bed that fought surprisingly hard!

The next day started with the promise of fishy feeding frenzies and double ups. Maybe even another Grand Slam! For me. Not Bobby. He had taken to sitting around with a satisfied look on his face. Then he would get this big smile. Disgusting. I seriously contemplated the possibility that I might have to pull his Man Card. Alas, I didn’t have very long to contemplate. We were fishing a promising spot that had not become great. We were moving on. Bobby was at the helm and had the engines in gear and idling along and making sure we were ready to go fast. Satisfied we were, he pushed the throttles forward smartly. The rear of the boat gave a blast of grinding roaring noise. He threw the shifters back into neutral. We both went into high adrenalin mode as we began sorting out what had happened. We discovered quickly we weren’t sinking but the lower end on the port engine now had reverse only and forward sounded like train wreck.

So much for promise right? I had a lot of time to think as we limped back home on one engine. Time to think about what a protracted mess it was going to be to get the boat repaired. Think about the disappointed looks on the grandkids’ faces when we told them the boat was back in the shop. Think about how expensive it was going to be. It got gloomy on my side of the boat. Bobby on the other hand was still sporting that look of satisfaction and that annoying smile. I wanted to be in a bad mood, but Bobby's positive outlook was erasable. It somehow sloshed over onto me, and I found myself on the phone dealing with it.

I got ahold of the guys at Naples Boat Mart. I laid the problem out for them and went so far as to ask them if they could make something happen in two days! I played all my cards. I even told them about my daughter’s family coming for their vacation all the way from Indiana. A trip that had been in the planning for over a year before we found a time that worked for everyone. Couldn’t help myself. Bobby’s can-do mojo was still working. I know, I know. I can already hear the laughter and derision from my friends "TWO DAYS?!" Stop it. It’s not very nice. And I feel the pity as well. Stop it! Seriously! It’s not very nice. The guy on the line said, “So... you have a bad lower end assembly on the port engine, and you want us to get it done in two days. Right?” I swallowed hard and said, "Yes." He said, “Let me talk to the service manager and I’ll get back to you right away.” We hung up and I began thinking of alternate activities we could offer the kids.

My phone rang 5 minutes later. My first thought, honestly, was who could that be, I’m not expecting any calls. It was the service manager from Naples Boat Mart! I braced myself for the inevitable. No parts, no available mechanics, no space in the shop. Okay, okay in his defense, those things can all be true. But to my surprise, he greeted me warmly, asked how I was, and let me know he thought he could help. Let’s just hit the pause button for a minute. Let that sink in.

It turned out that he had just received a boat with the same engines I have on my boat. It had just come to him that day, 13 months after the hurricane! It had been totaled for extensive hull damage. The engines were fine! He was going to send out a trailer and pull my boat out of the water at my ramp. He was going to send a mechanic with the trailer, and he would put the newly serviced lower end from that boat onto mine. I could be back on the water the next day. HA! Now who’s laughing and deriding?

By the evening of Bobby’s last day, we were back on the water and were both enjoying a furious bite. Fountains of bait fish erupting out of the water all around us. Unseen gamefish hunting for a meal with reckless abandon. On a couple of occasions, we each had fish on at the same time. It had been slow but suddenly as the sun was about to settle into the ocean on the horizon, everything seemed to be exploding in an awesome display of the food chain. And we were at the top of it for the moment. It was one of those magical days on the water that you never want to forget. But it almost didn’t happen.

My grandson's first saltwater fish. This might never have happened.

Seriously, just when I think that I have it all figured out, something like this happens and renews my faith in the human family. Thank you, God! (You’re just showing off with the whole totaled boat thing.) Thank you, Naples Boat Mart! You guys really came through for me. And thank you, Bobby! Thank you all. I think the IGFA needs to add a fourth Grand Slam. The Miracle Grand Slam! I got away with another great fishing trip with my friend. I got my boat fixed by a bunch of great guys at the marina. The next day! And I got to enjoy my family for a wonderful week of boating, beaching, and fishing.

The next morning sitting on my lanai, I watched the sun come up on another beautiful Florida day. All was right with the universe. Bobby was safely off to the airport and on his way back to his family. I was reveling in the great times I had during our fishing…um, uh, I mean maintenance trip when I became aware of muffled giggling from my wife in the house. It became evident as I began to listen intently, that she was on a group call with Bobby’s wife for sure, and maybe his mother-in-law. The half of the conversation I heard went something like this, “Yes, he’s on his way to the airport now. Oh yes! Bobby caught lots! Even got one of those Slammy thingies. I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I got one too. (More giggling) No, he didn’t do as well as Bobby and me. What a grump! (Giggling continues) No they have no idea! (Barely suppressed laughter). I know! It was three months ago. All I had to do was drop a hint about being sure the boat was ready for the kids' vacation. Then a day or so later I reminded him that he wasn’t allowed to lift more than 30 pounds. He took the bait, hook, line, and sinker! (Unguarded boisterous laughter) He was texting Bobby and plotting the next day! And came to me (embarrassing uncontrollable sniggering) with the story that he needed to make a trip down to service the boat and he needed Bobby’s help! FOR A WEEK! ...What? Oh YES! He still thinks he pulled a fast one and snuck another fishing trip by us! (more laughter and tears) STOP! I’m going to pee my pants! (Then in subdued whispers) Hey! I better go I think he might be listening."

Stupid universe!

Doc