A friend came all the way from Utah last week to help me with some boat maintenance here in south Florida. My Whaler needed to have some very heavy batteries changed out and some pumps repaired and replaced. It was heavy lifting and definitely a two-man job, so I was very thankful for his help. We toiled away the first day and managed to get many of the chores under control. The batteries were not too bad except for the weight and getting them down into their locker. Awkward and heavy, I was glad (we’ll call him) Bobby was doing the lifting and positioning of those behemoths! I went to work on some electrical gremlins in the freshwater pump. By the time I had narrowed the problem down to either a bad pump or oxidized wiring Bobby was already done with moving all four batteries! He was starting on installing a new macerator pump when he checked on my progress. I had already installed a new fuse and switch. The pump had power, but it was fluctuating. It varied from 9 to 12 volts. He took one look at the pump itself and said, “That pump looks brand new.” I agreed, and a closer inspection showed a manufacture date of 2022. I hadn’t used the boat but a couple of hours since then, so we decided to wire it directly to the 12-volt batteries. Off it went! Ran like new. Problem solved. Oxidized wires. By the time I had replaced the old wires Bobby was already finished with replacing the macerator pump for the fish boxes.
So, the first day of our fishing trip…ah, um, I mean, boat maintenance trip went well. So well in fact that we decided to take on a few more chores the next day. The freshwater shower on the rear deck was not working and the solar charge controller on one bank of batteries needed to be replaced. I had the shower head apart and found it was just dirty and sticking in the closed position. A quick clean up and it was working, and the solar charge controller was…….Okay. I think it’s safe. Sorry about all that boring maintenance stuff. I had to be sure Bobby’s wife and Mother-in-law got bored and stopped reading. We had to invent the boat maintenance ruse to cover for yet another fishing trip. Fortunately, they totally fell for it. It was surprisingly easy! We did all those things Not only to safely and comfortably fish, but for my daughter and her family as well. They were coming the next week, and they were looking forward to boating, beaching and fishing with grandma and grandpa.
I had some saltwater lures I was anxious to try out. The Mullet Bullet and Trout Trigger. (see below) And Bobby was anxious to add a few more saltwater species to his list. So being the selfless host that I am I watched patiently while Bobby got a backwater Grand Slam. I know, I know there are several Slams! Florida Fish and Wildlife has many slams, and the IGFA (International Game Fish Association) lists three official slams. The Grand Slam, the Super Grand Slam, and the Fantasy Grand Slam. He got Snook, Speckled Sea Trout and Redfish. Not to be outdone I caught a Grand Shame! Common Catfish, Sail Catfish and a clump of oyster bed. The oyster fought surprisingly hard!
The next day started with the promise of fishy feeding frenzies and double ups. Maybe even another Grand Slam! For me. Not Bobby. He had taken to sitting around with a satisfied look on his face. Then he would get this big smile. Disgusting. I seriously contemplated the possibility that I might have to pull his Man Card. Alas I didn’t have to contemplate very long. We were in a spot that had been good, but we weren’t looking for good we were looking for great. We were moving on. Bobby was at the helm and had the engines in gear and idling along and making sure we were ready to go fast. Satisfied we were he pushed the throttles forward smartly. The rear of the boat gave a blast of grinding roaring noise. He threw the shifters back into neutral. We both went into high adrenalin mode as we began sorting out what had happened. We discovered quickly we weren’t sinking. But the lower end on the port engine now had reverse only and forward sounded like train wreck. So much for promise right?
I had a lot of time to think as we limped back home on one engine. Think about what a protracted mess it was going to be to get the boat repaired. Think about the disappointed looks on the grandkids’ faces when we told them the boat was back in the shop. Think about how expensive it was going to be. It got gloomy on my side of the boat. Bobby on the other hand was still sporting that look of satisfaction and that annoying smile. I wanted to be in a bad mood, but Bobbys’ positive outlook was erasable. It somehow sloshed over onto me, and I found myself on the phone dealing with it.
I got ahold of the guys at Naples Boat Mart. I laid the problem out for them and went so far as to ask them if they could make something happen in two days! I played all my cards. I even told them about my daughter’s family coming for their vacation all the way from Indiana. A trip that had been in the planning for over a year before we found a time that worked for everyone. Couldn’t help myself. Bobby’s can-do mojo was still working. I know, I know. I can already hear the laughter and derision from my friends in Southeast Florida! Stop it. It’s not very nice. And I feel the pity as well. Stop it! Seriously! It’s not very nice. The guy on the line said “so you have a bad lower end assembly on the port engine, and you want us to get it done in two days. Right?” I swallowed hard and said yes. He said, “let me talk to the service manager and I’ll get back to you right away.” I don’t know if you are familiar with the SISC (service industry secret code) or not but let me lay it out for you. “Right away” means they will call you back in a few weeks if at all. I hung up and began thinking of alternate activities we could offer the kids.
My phone rang 5 minutes later. My first thought honestly, was who could that be, I’m not expecting any calls. It was the service manager from Naples Boat Mart! I braced myself for the next SISC communication. It’s usually “I’m shorthanded”, or” I don’t have the parts”, or the ultimate finality of “my first service appointment is next month”. Okay, okay in their defense those things can all be true. In the end it makes no difference. Whatever words he was going to use the bottom line was, they all meant the same thing, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” But to my surprise he greeted me warmly. Asked how I was and let me know he thought he could help. Let’s just hit the pause button for a minute. Let that sink in. There is no SISC for that.
It turned out that he had just received a boat with the same engines I have on my boat. It had just come to him that day, 13 months after the hurricane! It had been totaled for extensive hull damage. The engines were fine! He was going to send out a trailer and pull my boat out of the water at my ramp. He was going to send a mechanic with the trailer, and he would put the lower end from that boat onto mine. I could be back on the water the next day. HA! Now who’s laughing and deriding? By the evening of Bobby’s last day, we were back on the water and were both enjoying a furious bite. Fountains of bait fish erupting out of the water all around us. Unseen gamefish hunting for a meal with reckless abandon. On a couple of occasions, we each had fish on at the same time. It had been slow but suddenly as the sun was about to settle into the ocean on the horizon, everything seemed to be exploding in an awesome display of the food chain. And we were at the top of it for the moment! It was one of those magical days on the water that you never want to forget. But it almost didn’t happen.
Seriously, just when I think that I have it all figured out something like this happens and renews my faith in the human family. Thank you, God! (You’re just showing off with the whole totaled boat thing.) Thank you, Naples Boat Mart! You guys really came through for me. And thank you, Bobby! Thank you all. I think the IGFA needs to add a fourth Grand Slam. The Miracle Grand Slam! I got away with another great fishing trip with my friend. I got my boat fixed by a bunch of great guys at the marina. The next day! And I got to enjoy my family for a wonderful week of boating, beaching and fishing.
The next morning sitting on my Lanai I watched the sun come up on another beautiful Florida day. All was right with the universe. Bobby was safely off to the airport and on his way back to his family. I was reveling in the great times I had during our fishing…um, uh I mean maintenance trip when I become aware of muffled giggling from my wife in the house. It became evident as I began to listen intently, that she was on a group call with Bobby’s wife for sure, and maybe even his mother-in-law. The half of the conversation I heard went something like this. “Yes, he’s on his way to the airport now. Oh yes, Bobby caught lots! Even got one of those Slammy thingies. I don’t know what all the fuss is about, I got one too. (More giggling) No he didn’t do as well as Bobby and me. What a grump! (Giggling continues) No they have no idea! (Barely suppressed laughter). I know! It was only three months ago. All I had to do was drop a hint about being sure the boat was ready for the kid’s vacation. Then a day or so later I reminded him that he wasn’t allowed to lift more than 30 pounds. He took the bait hook, line and sinker! (Unguarded boisterous laughter) He was texting Bobby the next day! And came to me (embarrassing uncontrollable sniggering) with the story that he needed to service the boat right away and he needed Bobby’s help! FOR A WEEK! What? Oh YES! He still thinks he pulled a fast one and snuck another fishing trip by us! (more laughter and tears) STOP! I’m going to pee my pants! (Now in subdued whispers) Hey I better go I think he might be listening.
Stupid universe!
Doc
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